Joyology

Archive for the ‘Study of Listening’ Category

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

Does not mean to stop caring, it means you can’t do it for someone else.
Does not mean to cut yourself off, it is the realization that you can’t do it for someone else.
Does not mean to care for, it means to care about.
Does not mean to fix, it means to be supportive.
Does not mean to change another, it means to make the most of yourself.
Does not mean to deny, it means to accept.
Does not mean to nag or scold, it means to listen.
Does not mean to regret the past, it is to live for the future.
It means that we should admit we are frequently powerless and that someone else’s outcome may not be in our hands.

A little boy was spending his Saturday morning playing in his sandbox. He had with him his box of cars and trucks, his plastic pail, and a shiny, red plastic shovel. In the process of creating roads and tunnels in the soft sand, he discovered a large rock in the middle of the sandbox. The lad dug around the rock, managing to dislodge it from the dirt. With a little bit of struggle, he pushed and nudged the rock across the sandbox by using his feet. (He was a very small boy and the rock was very huge.)

When the boy got the rock to the edge of the sandbox, he found that he couldn’t roll it up and over the little wall. Determined, the little boy shoved, pushed, and pried, but every time he thought he had made some progress, the rock tipped and then fell back into the sandbox. The little boy grunted, struggled, pushed, shoved-but his only reward was to have the rock roll back, smashing his chubby fingers. Finally he burst into tears of frustration. Read the rest of this entry »

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains. Read the rest of this entry »

Fold two hands together
and express a dash of sorrow.
Marinate it overnight
and work on it tomorrow

Chop one grudge into tiny pieces.
Add several cups of love.
Dredge with a large sized smile.
Mix with the ingredients above

Dissolve the hate within you
by melting the chip you stored almost to long.
When it is completely dissolved,
add it to the bowl of ingredients above.

Stir in laughter, love, and kindness;
this can only come from the heart
or the ingredients will sour. Read the rest of this entry »

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea. “Hello,” she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

“I’m building,” she said.

“I see that. What is it?” I asked, not really caring.

“Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand.”

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by.

“That’s a joy,” the child said. Read the rest of this entry »

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways ,but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often Read the rest of this entry »

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of root beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the park just staring at some pigeons. The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her a Twinkie. She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.

Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer. Again, she smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word. As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug. She gave him her biggest smile ever. Read the rest of this entry »

I am writing to say how much I care for you and to say how much I want you to know me better.

1) THE GIFT OF LISTENING…
But you must REALLY listen.
No interrupting, no daydreaming,
no planning your response.
Just listening.

2) THE GIFT OF AFFECTION…
Be generous with appropriate hugs,
kisses, pats on the back and handholds.
Let these small actions demonstrate the
love you have for family and friends.

Read the rest of this entry »